


That asshole, still alive?

by Aaren



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Crack, Disney Songs, Fluff and Crack, Gen, I needed a break from the angst, I'll stop Dick-ing around and go write said angst now, Parody, Ridiculous, Song Lyrics, so many ideas so little time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 03:00:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16925268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aaren/pseuds/Aaren
Summary: A brand new album by the residents of the DC UniverseTracklist:*"Do you want a little trauma?" by Scarecrow (ft. Batman)*"Oh, I just can't wait to kill him" by Damian and Tim (ft. Dick)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a joke when I was writing another chapter's summary and it's pure and utter crack. I'm sorry. I had to.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tracklist

Already up:   
*"Do you want a little Trauma?" by Scarecrow (ft. Batman)  
*"Oh, I just can't wait to kill him!" by Tim and Damian (ft. Dick)

Coming soon:  
(More like 'coming one day, hopefully' )  
*"Someday, out of the Blue" by Arthur Curry   
*"Rewrite the Earths" by Barry Allen   
*"Manor on the Hill" by Bruce Wayne   
*"Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Joker" by Jason Todd  
*"Oy, what a (Dark) Knight!" by The Arkham Bunch  
*"Dowtown, Fuck"  
*"Brucie in the Sky with Diamonds"  
*"All into the Watchtower"  
*"God! Save O. Queen"  
*"Brave Third Robin"  
*"Moves Like Joker"  
*"This time for Ethiopia"  
*"Batman knows what you did in the dark"


	2. "Do you want a little trauma?" by Scarecrow (ft. Batman)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course, the music, the characters, their universe and some of the lyrics do not belong to me but their respective owners. So I don't own anything but the ridiculousness of this crossover.   
> This, like any of my other fics, is just meant to have a little fun and to train my writing skills.   
> Without further ado, Have fun! 
> 
> Original song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hW8XgwBBHrM

_**Scarecrow:** _

Batman?

Do you want a little trauma?  
Come on just be afraid!  
I only get to scare the poor  
It's such a bore  
When _your_ nerves could be frayed

We used to be best enemies  
And now we're not  
I wish the Joker would diiiiiiie

Do you want a little trauma?  
It doesn't have to be by fear gas

( _ **Batman:**_ In your cell, Scarecrow)

Okay, bye :'(

Do you want a little trauma?  
Just forget that dumb Court of Owls  
I think some good ol' fear is overdue  
When Riddler leaves a clue  
I fill the air with howls

(Hang in there, Rob)

It gets a little lonely  
This big Asylum  
Just watching the others escape

Batman?  
Please, I know we're insane  
But I'm locked up with Harley Quinn  
They say don't kill her, and I'm trying to  
I'd rather it'd be you  
I'm not bluffin'

We're both good psychiatrists  
But we disagree  
And it's driving me cuckoo

Do you want a little trauma?

\-------

 

_**Batman:** _

Scarecrow?

Yes, i know you're insane  
I see you everyday  
I wish you would stay in Arkham  
I want you to . Even just for a daaaaay  
Dear god, leave Robin alone  
I don't condone  
This behaviour you've shown

I don't want a little trauma.


	3. 'Oh, I just can't wait to kill him' by Damian and Tim ( ft. Dick)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJEBV11ONHE

D: I'm gonna be the next Robin, so enemies beware

**T: Well, I've never seen a true Robin that has so little care**

D: I'm gonna be the best Sidekick, like you weren't before  
I'm brushing up on taking down criminals without gore

**T: Thus far a rather unsuccessful thing**

_**T and D: Oh, I just can't wait to kill him** _

**T: You have a rather long way to go, little shit, if you think-**

D: No one saying kill this

**T: Now, when Ra's said that-**

D: No one saying kill that

**T: Don't tell me you-**

D: No making me do things-

**T: Dick, you can't be serious**

D: -and I can keep my caaaaaat

**T: Goddamniiiiiiiit**

D: Free to fight against the worst

**T: Well, that's definitely out**

D: Alongside Robin the first

**T: I think it's time that you and I arranged some kind of spar**

D: Heirs don't take advice from dull pretenders for a start

**T: If this is where Dick's legacy is headed, count me out!**  
**Out of Gotham, to North Africa, for Bruce I'll go all-out!**  
**For god's sake what were you thinking Nightwing?**

D: My life's already improving

D: Everybody fight West!

D: Everybody fight Fries!

D: Everywhere you look, I'm-  
-Beating Bad Guys

**T: Not yet!**

_Dick: Let every Batfamily member sing_  
_Let's tell it on the comms to Little 'Wing_  
_For Damian's gonna be the next Robin!_

**_T and D: Oh, I just can't wait to kill him (x3)_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much everyone that left kudo's and comments on any of my fics. Every signle one is precious and makes my day. I love you all.


End file.
